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BIO
Mr. Greenfield left a prestigious law firm in Garden City, NY and opened his
own law office in September 2002. He is a
Long Island
Divorce Lawyer and Family Law Attorney, and
represents people going through all phases of divorce litigation. He handles
all related matters, including but not limited to:
child
custody, visitation, child support, spousal maintenance, equitable
distribution (division of marital assets), orders of protection, contempt of
court, enforcement, modification of support, post judgment actions,
grandparent custody, grandparent visitation, prenuptial agreements (prenup
agreement), separation agreements.
Mace H. Greenfield is a twice divorced
father with custody of his daughter since 1991. His favorite line is:
"Been there, done that, now please listen to me…"
He has also been known by the stage name of "Mace In Your Face" since 1984, having hosted both morning radio and talk radio. As well, he has made many TV and news appearances, and has been interviewed by many newspapers. He has also been published nationally and internationally.
He formerly sat on the Boards of Directors of: Father’s Rights Association of Long Island, Inc. (Executive Director); Father’s Rights Association of New York State, Inc. (Corporate Secretary); Grandparents Rights Association of New York (V. P. of Public Relations); Grandparents Reaching Out (V. P. of Public Relations). He has been a member of Parents Without Partners Nassau Chapter No.14, Inc., since 1992. He sat on the Board of Directors from 1993 through 1995, and again in 2003 and 2004, holding the positions of Director of Public Relations, V.P. of Family & Youth, and President.
Mr. Greenfield changed careers to become an attorney after his return to New York in 1991, after his divorce in Virginia. He sought assistance of the courts, and only found it made his problems worse, not better. The Courts and other agencies treated him poorly because he is a father and they would not listen that he had (and still has) custody. Later, the Courts went after his x-wife for things she never did. When Mr. Greenfield called the courts and other agencies for help, he was told to just laugh at her as would others in his shoes. They also told him that he was petty when he requested the child support order be corrected to identify him as a man and his x as the woman. Mr. Greenfield, on the suggestion and urging by the Hon. Burton S. Joseph, changed his career path, retuned to college and then attended law school, hoping to make a difference and help make things right.
Born in 1960, raised in N. Bellmore, graduated W.C. Mepham High School in 1978, attended SUNY at Stony Brook 1978 to 1983, and settled into Advertising Public Relations and Marketing with a full service agency. He decided to change careers and become an attorney to help others avoid the problems with the system he encountered. He again attended SUNY Stony Brook 1993 to 1994 and earned his Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy. He then graduated from Touro Law School in May of 1998, passed the bar exam in 1998, and was admitted to the practice of law in January 1999. Mace H. Greenfield opened his own office on September 4, 2002.
“Not-the-Mama”
by:
Mace H. Greenfield (written in 1991)
“Not-the-Mama” is not only the amusingly irreverent title, affectionately
given the daddy dinosaur by the baby dinosaur on the TV series “Dinosaurs”,
but is also a societal stigma given fathers, especially separated and
divorced fathers having custody. “Not-the-Dada” seems to be an un-conceived
of concept (let's hear about it single moms). Many capable, loving,
nurturing fathers too easily give up custody during the separation and
divorce process simply because of the “Not-the-Mama” syndrome. Yet, in this
era of “women's lib” and “male sensitivity,” other than the biological
differences, what can one parent do that the other parent cannot? Answer:
That depends on the individuals as individuals and not on their labels.
As a divorced custodial father of a 4 year old girl (at time of writing,
DOB: 8-19-87), I am constantly besieged: ‘I really respect you for taking on
the responsibility, it must really be hard on you!’ (As though its any
harder on a man than a women); ‘Gee, who takes care of her when you're at
work?’ (Same as most working moms ... day care); ‘Your so good with your
daughter, how do you do it? How does any parent do it?’ (Consistency, set
rules, plenty of nurturing, and lotsa' love). Why are people so surprised?
It reminds me of the time when my daughter was about 2 years old and we were
grocery shopping...
Several moms and dads asked me what my secret was to such a well behaved
child who doesn't grab everything from the shelves, throwing everything in
the wagon and then screaming when the items are replaced on the shelves, as
their children were doing. “Simple”, I said, “I don't leave the wagon close
enough to the shelves for my daughter to be able to reach.” - Simplicity.
Simplicity is the key to doing anything, but damn it, there is no simple way
to braid her hair!!! Or getting those bows, clips and barrettes to stay in
her hair! The important things in life, braids, clips, bows... OH NO! I'm
“Not-the-Mama”! But I can do a dandy pony tail and get clips to stay in her
hair behind the pony tail what-cha-ma-call-its. Kind of like many single
moms doing a tune-up or oil change, we learn, we do, we get by or get a
sibling or friend to help.
When simplicity fails, substitution works great. A few months ago, my
innocent little 4 year old girl wanted a bra! So off we go to the stores. On
the advice of my friend's sister, a mother of 2 (a 9 nine year old girl and
an 8 year old boy), we went in search of those half top strapped under shirt
what-cha-ma-call-its. The first 2 stores didn't have any, but every time my
little girl saw a real bra, she said, “There's a bra for me daddy.” I
blushingly replied, “Wrong size honey.” Now she has a draw full of those
what-cha-ma-call-its and happily wears a “bra” every day.
The only aspect of single fatherhood of a little girl I really hate is
having to take her to the dreaded, filthy, disgusting MEN'S ROOM when out in
public. Conversations about this with many women seems to indicate that
women’s rooms aren't so much tidier than men’s rooms after all. Am I just
being consoled ... or ... can it be true ... I hate to even think it ... the
WOMEN’S ROOM is just as filthy as the MEN’S ROOM? Was it just a myth that
I've been holding on to all these years? If it’s true: Congratulations
women's libbers on achieving rest room filth parody. Ha! Ha! Ha! (As my
daughter would say.)
Worst of all, I found out that my daughter has been kissing a 4 year old boy
at day care. Upon further investigation, I learned that this “Casanova” gets
kissed by all the girls. I immediately, as a responsible parent, had a talk
with the boy's father, and the boy himself. I discovered that this
“Casanova,” though he comes from a fine upstanding family, never attended
college and has no means of self-support. But worse yet, even under the
severest of interrogations, this “Casanova” refused to reveal his secrets so
that I too, could be kissed by all the girls.
What does any of this have to do with being a single custodial father as
compared to being the mother? Not much and that is just the point. Whether
mama or “Not-the-Mama”, being a parent is just that, being a parent. The
greatest of responsibility, adventure and love. The needs of a child stay
the same, the responsibilities of parenting stay the same, and the societal
myths stay the same.
The only real differences are the societal misconceptions and the media that
perpetuates this. Magazines and newspaper articles, and TV shows on the
subject matter of parenting are all geared to the mama audience. Just as
Cosmo and GQ are formatted to their respective gender counterparts of
similar subject matter, there needs to be media parody for fathers. Or as
Time magazine and many others are geared for all people, parenting
publications should be presented in a way as to interest both parents.
Author’s note: My little girl’s name is Amanda Margret, I misspelled her
name on her birth certificate.
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