Divorce, custody, orders of protection and social media:

When we go through a divorce, child custody proceeding, and/or a domestic violence case, we should NOT litigate it on social media. Leave all ligation to the lawyers and the courtroom. You’d be surprised how often what you post is printed out and used against people in court. Further, you alienate your own friends and family by doing so. The worst part is that even if everything you post you can prove as true, if your children, regardless of old they are, are exposed to it, you do hurt them to the core. They do not and should not be exposed to it, whether they are 5, 15 or 25. What you post today in cyberspace, can still be accessed years from now.

 

The worst is when you ask people to take sides and be your friend only and not your spouses/other parent, you regress to high school like behavior. This too can cost you in court as a showing of whether or not you’ll seek to alienate the other parent from the child in a custody battle. It can also make your friends wonder about you. If you ask your friends to unfriend your spouse/the other parent or delete you, you won’t have anyone who may innocently blab info to you about your spouse/the other parent that could help you. That is also asking your children to take sides, and they may just delete and block you because you said too if they won’t delete their other parent, and they should never ever be asked to.

 

All badmouthing about the other parent/your spouse on social media can be twisted into an attempt to further harass him/her as a violation of, or proof of need for, an order of protection. You may even go the point of being sued for slander and/or libel.

 

The biggest mistake of exposing the dirty laundry of your divorce, child custody proceeding, and/or a domestic violence case, is that you give the other person power and control over you and confirm it to that person. You should only vent in the safety of a support group, a counselors office or in private with a trusted friend or relative. If you want to hurt your spouse/other parent in social media and without giving him/her power over you, here’s what you do: show how well settled you are without that person, how happy you are, how life goes on without him/her. That is how to really hurt the person.

 

Always speak kindly of him/her so that if anything gets back to the children, they can know you never said a bad word about mom/dad, because the children are 50% dad and 50% mom, to speak ill of one, is to speak ill of 50% of your children. As well, if your kind words get back to that person and anyone that person speaks ill of you too, you undermine what was said about you and you also again stick to the other person.

 

Rise above and always take the high road!