PHILOSOPHY

Do not litigate emotion. Do not fight for something worth less than the legal fees it will cost you. Ask yourself one question: can you afford justice? Most people cannot, and even if you can, there are no guarantees. Run away from anyone who guarantees you anything more than his or her best efforts on your behalf. Justice as most people imagine it to be, only exists in elementary school textbooks, and superhero cartoons. In real life, one persons justice is another person’s injustice. In real life, if the right thing always happened, no one would ever need a lawyer, and there would not be any appellate courts.

A court can only rule within certain limitations on each issue. Understanding how the law by statute and case law will increase your possible gains and increase your possible losses, gives you the parameters to settle a case. For that which you want that the Courts would never grant to you, you trade it for something the other side wants. Every case has a beginning and every case must have an end. The sooner it ends, the sooner you heal and get your life back. The concept is to maximize your gains and minimize your losses, it is not about winning and loosing. Divorce is a loss from the beginning.

Divorce:

No divorce should take longer than six months to settle or get ready for trial. An extra month here or there is not a big deal, but in my opinion, there is no justifiable reason for a divorce to take years.

Custody:

Emotions may have brought the two of you into divorce or family court, but the emotions must be checked at the door. The case must proceed based on a combination of facts and law. To litigate emotions, is to drive the cost of litigation up much higher than it should or could be, and cause deeper scars in both of you, which will only harm the child, no matter how well you think you may be protecting your child.

Every child needs both a mother and a father in his or her life, to grow up healthy and secure. Not just a biological parent with a name, but one who is actively involved in the child’s life. Love, nurturing, guidance, companionship is so very important to the child’s sense of self and well being.

Every day before the split up, you trusted the child’s other parent with the child in every way, even if you thought you were a better parent. Now, for leverage and advantage, you claim the other parent is so horrible, but nothing has changed since before the split up. This only hurts the child in the end, and jacks up legal costs. It is to selfishly argue your own best interests and litigate emotion. To argue the child’s best interests from your point of view only and not that of the child’s, is to hide behind the child, to harm the child, to hurt the very child you claim to love so dearly.

Visitation:

Child access is so important for the nonresidential parent. But it is more important for the child. It is also your time off. And the child’s time to visit with his or her other extended family, who will probably buy things for the child, cutting down the need for either parent to buy for the child. The more the lines of communication and access stay open to both sides of extended family, the more possible free baby sitters are available to you when you need. Most important, you raise a healthier child.

Discovery:

Turn over copies of as many documents as possible before the other side even asks for it, with the statement of net worth, bound to the statement of net worth, and get the case closer to the end at the very beginning. Your lawyer knows what the usual documents are to inform you of it. Mandatory disclosure is listed in the Court Rules, rule 202.16(f) Unless it is truly outside of the scope of discovery, a judge will order it produced, so save time and money, and get to the end faster and cheaper. Who cares if the other side does or does not produce as freely. You will be able to go before the judge with clean hands on that issue.

Maintenance:

Only in few cases is it justified anymore. When illness prevents one from being self-supporting, or age prevents one from being able to retrain, or when the children are very small with extra needs. Otherwise, maintenance should at most be a form of unemployment insurance, to allow one to obtain necessary education or training, and then to get started in a job or career. As such it should be limited amounts for a limited duration.

There are both judges and lawyers in this state who have gone back to school while raising his or her child(ren) and still needing to earn a living, to become a lawyer. They did it, I did it, so can you.

Child Support:

The law is the law, cold and cruel without much basis in reality. In most cases, it calculates to what it calculates. In some cases, it is on a case by case basis, as to deviating from the guidelines.

Equitable Distribution:

If it was obtained during the marriage with funds earned during the marriage, it is marital property, and will probably be divided equally, regardless of who names it is in. Again, how much will the fight cost you in legal fees if you are successful? How does that compare to the value of what you are fighting for. To fight based on principle, you better be very wealthy, and even then, you have to ask yourself, “is it really worth it?”

Fathers’ Rights:

Fathers' Rights, for me, is a matter of treating all cases the same, regardless of gender. Father's Rights is not prejudging a case based on gender, and applying the law to the facts of each and every case regardless of gender.

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