Whose Fault Is It?

Not long ago, I sat in the hallway of the Nassau County Supreme Court Matrimonial Center and heard a random husband rant at this divorce lawyer, then just out loud, that he wants the Judge to know its all his wife’s parents fault that they are getting a divorce.  He was relentless in his ramblings.  I initially thought he was just a wack-a-do, as did most others who heard him.  Guess what? The Judge does NOT care.  Unless it is “egregious” beyond belief, it does not matter as to the outcome of your divorce case, inclusive of child custody and child support and or spousal maintenance.  Why doesn’t a Judge care? Because the law does not care.  It is not one of the facts to be an element of the law for relief of any kind.

What kind of fault might and might not affect the divorce and in what way?

Domestic violence can and will affect child custody and visitation.  It can affect equitable distribution depending on the specific facts and the severity.  It can affect support to some degree.

Drugs and alcohol can affect the outcomes as the Court will not give custody to anyone with a drug or alcohol problem nor even unsupervised visitation.

Cheating on your spouse will not have any impact unless the children were exposed to sex.

Over spending will have no impact on anything, unless it was on alcohol, drugs or gambling…

Where should you best address who is at fault causing the divorce? With your therapist!  Most lawyers love to entertain it as it jacks up their fees, but a therapist takes insurance, a lawyer does not, and even if it is all out of pocket, a therapist is still cheaper than a lawyer.