When going through a divorce involving custody and/or visitation, someone must be the adult even if the other parent is making it very hard. If the other parent is a control freak (usually the one with the children) let that parent think he or she is in control. Be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Otherwise, to succumb to it and try to assert yourself will only cause the acrimony and animosity to get worse. When this happens, it is the worst for the children. If you love your children, do NOT let this happen, make sure the acrimony and animosity is to a minimum. To not let the other parent set you off with their controlling ways is to porcupine it back it at him or her. He or she intended to upset you, but by deflecting it or ignoring, it ends up upsetting that parent the most because he or she could not get to you. When you let it get to you, you give that other parent control over you.
Do it this way, and your children will grow up to see you were always even headed and without bitterness or spitefulness and never went tit for tat. The children will eventually see the controlling parent who is trying to get to you for what he or she truly is, and that he or she used the children as pawns. If you try to confront it, attack it, or anything else, you justify that first parent’s actions and level the playing field and your children will never grow up to see you as the innocent good parent, and neither will the Court.
Do not play into the traps set most often by the Mother to screw up the Father and make him seem controlling, angry, demanding and unreasonable. Remember there is still a gender bias, so once you react, no one will see that she instigated it. They will just see that you are no better than you claim and maybe as bad as she says. Diplomacy: be a wolf in sheep clothes. By letting her think she is in control, you are actually the one in control.
No matter what, always say please, thank you, your welcome, just be as polite as possible. Speak highly of the other parent to the children even if the children tell you the other parent said bad things about you. Do what you should do, even when the other parent is not.
The Court system is a long drawn out process, do not let impatience get to you, she is hoping it will. To fall prey to this common game is to undo your case. By being a sheep in wolf’s clothing: at the least, it will not be as aggravating for you, your case will do better and you will not be seen as she portrays you; at best, the other parent will react in kind, be nicer, and the case will resolve faster with a much better environment for the children to grow up in.