Everyone wants to hire the best lawyer possible, particularly in a divorce case. If you’re thinking about getting a divorce and have sought the counsel of friends and family, I’m sure you’ve heard all sorts of recommendations for “the best divorce lawyer” on Long Island. The truth is that there is no such thing. Not even me.
Every divorce case has unique qualities and circumstances that surround it. Are there children involved? What kind of assets need to be divided? Is it acrimonious or relatively friendly? Have there been allegations of abuse? Infidelity? For every circumstance there are multiple approaches one can take. The trick is to find the one that suits you and your personality as you prepare for the long road ahead.
Remember that courts are made up of people. Judges, court officers and attorneys are all just people with their own set of priorities, backgrounds and viewpoints. It’s why I tell all of my clients that I refuse to litigate emotion. There is enough emotion in any given case to go around so maintaining one’s focus and a steady approach to the process is what matters most. The only thing you can control is how you act in the face of an incredibly emotional time in your life, which is why my advice to clients tends to be less about the law and more about their own behavior.
One of the most important things my clients can do is maintain a healthy regimen of sleep, nutrition and exercise. This will help them focus clearly on the most important thing possible: listening. As an attorney I am a control freak. Why? Because when you’re getting divorced your judgment is clouded and you’re suddenly walking in a world that is entirely unfamiliar. Clouded judgment in unfamiliar territory is a recipe for mistakes, which is why I direct every single move my clients make.
You’re getting divorced because it didn’t work. For whatever reason, you and your spouse were unable to manage your respective emotions and change the outcome of your marriage. To think you can control your spouse’s emotions, his/her attorney’s actions and the behavior of everyone in the courtroom is ridiculous. That’s why I tell my clients to focus on controlling their own behavior and let me navigate everyone else’s.
So the answer to the question, “who is the best lawyer?” is fairly simple. There is no such thing. But there is such thing as the “best client”: the one who listens.