When you are involved in a child custody proceeding in Family Court or as part of a divorce, you need to emphasize de-escalation of acrimony. Do not be reactionary to the other parent’s taunts, provocations or pushing of your buttons. You want the court to see that no matter what happens, you remain calm, rational and peaceful. Only then will the other parent’s taunts, provocations or pushing of your buttons be noticed by the courts and/or the attorney or the child(ren).
There remains a gender bias in courts still to this day, so that if the father is reactionary to the taunts, provocations or pushing of his buttons by the mother, the father will cause himself all kinds of problems with the court. However, if the father ignores the taunts, provocations or pushing of his buttons by the mother, then the court may see the mother’s actions for what they are, trying to cause problems.
If you let yourself be reactionary, the problems will be worse, you will be seen in a bad light, it will cost more in legal fees and it will negatively impact the children no matter how much you try to shield them.
Smart Parenting by Dr. Peter Favaro can help teach you to deal with an acrimonious person in a less reactionary and more constructive way. His book can be found at https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Parenting-During-After-Divorce/dp/0071597557/181-5641216-1729916?ie=UTF8&qid=1243798271&ref_=sr_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1