Whether you were ever married or not to the other parent of your child(ren), and you are going through child custody, child visitation and or child support case(s) in court, you are setting the example to your children of how to act in their future. You are teaching your children how to treat the other parent of your future grandchildren. You are teaching them how to expect to be treated by the other parent of your future grandchildren. You are teaching them how to screw up your future grandchildren in all the ways you do not realize you are screwing up your own children today. You are also teaching your children how to deal with conflict resolution in all other areas of life as well, on the job, friends, relatives, and so on.
If your children truly are the most important thing in your life, you will not lash out bitterly at the other parent of your child(ren) in the name of the child(ren). Never ever discuss the litigation with your children, no matter how old. Never try to influence your children to take your side. Never ever bad mouth the other parent to your children, even if it is all true. Never ever ask your children about the other parent. Never ever tell your children you cannot afford something because the other parent is behind in support payments, or because you do not think the other parent pays enough support.
Always remind your children to love, honor and respect the other parent. Always encourage your children to be respectful of the other parent. Always encourage your children to call their other parent when with you. Always encourage your children to enjoy their time with the other parent. Always encourage your children to tell the truth to the other parent and to their attorney and or the forensic evaluator, and or the court. Tell them that no matter what they tell their attorney and or the forensic evaluator, and or the court, as long as it is the truth, you will love them no matter what.
Raise healthy children, not dysfunctional children by being functional and not dysfunctional in your litigation. Let the love of your children and not your hate for the other parent guide your way for the sake of your children.